A Message From OUR America's Player

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BB8dish is proud to present a Special Message from our resident satirist, our very own America's Player. You've seen him here in the comments section of bb8dish for several weeks now, and we thought it was about time he made the main page... He has some wonderful words of wisdom to impart to us all, and a wonderful explanation of what's to come over the next few days of Big Brother 8. So, without further ado, I present, Our America's Player... as seen in the comments of bb8dish for the past 2 months.

***In case the references to satire and having commented here on the blog for several weeks now didn't make it abundantly clear, this is not really from Eric... it's merely written in his voice for your entertainment, while we explain the end game for those who've been asking questions.

America, let me state for the record, that I, in fact (and I know this may sound ridiculous) am at peace with my eviction. And although I've left the game earlier than I had hoped, with your help I've earned an additional $40,000 which, quite frankly, puts me in third place.

I'm enjoying my time, as you might surmise, in sequester; however, at this particular time, I am unable to confirm nor deny my exact whereabouts. Just know that I'm still playing for you, America, as I await my instructions from you on who to vote for as winner of Season 8 of Big Brother.

With the double eviction live show which, unfortunately, resulted in the demise of your player, the house is now down to the final four contestants. And, quite frankly, as you have already noticed, things are now moving at a new, and might I add, quickened pace.

When the number of houseguests whithers down the the final four, and I think this goes without saying, the HoH cannot be evicted. For the other three remaing houseguests to be safe, and therefore, to guarantee that they stay in the game, they must fight the good fight and, ultimately, win the PoV competition.

The PoV competition is the final, and (might I add) the most important of the season. The winner of the PoV competition holds all the power.

Since the staff at Allison Grodner Productions refuse to neither confirm nor deny the outcome of this PoV competition, I'll have to use my encyclical knowledge (and by knowledge, I mean insight, or knowing things other may overlook) to ultimately guess and suppose the outcome.

So here goes...

Let's suppose, for argument's sake, that Zach is the new HoH and he (being a panty-munching ogre) decided to nominate Evel Dick and his daughter, Daniele. Since the HoH (Zach) cannot vote, then one houseguest (Jameka) who isn't nominated casts the one and only, single and solitary, vote for eviction.

Unless...

Unless Evel Dick or Daniele were to win the PoV competition. Let us, for argument's sake, suppose (and I think it's a safe assumption) that Daniele won the PoV competition. Clearly she would use the veto on herself. The HoH (Zach) needs to replace the nomination with the only other eligible player, and that is Jameka.

See why this PoV was so important? Not only does Daniele, as PoV winner, guarantee her own safety, but she now becomes the only person casting a vote for eviction. And, in this case, she needs to select between her father, Evel Dick, or Jameka.

Now you don't have to be a Philadelphia Lawyer to figure out who Daniele will be evicting!

Um, Jameka, might I say, fare thee well, and I will see you soon in sequester.

Now the pace of the game changes once more, with only three houseguests remaining, who will now battle it out for the title of the season's last (and, arguably, most important) HoH. This is important, and I can't say this clearly enough, that unlike previous HoH competitions, this time all of the houseguests are eligible to play in the final HoH competition. Even Zach, who is outgoing HoH.

Might I remind you, that this final HoH is never any typical HoH competition. Typically, Big Brother plans a 3-part HoH competition at the end, which takes place over the course of a few days.

The first segment of the 3-part HoH competition has routinely been an endurance competition. The winner of this first leg is safe (for now) and will advance directly to round three. Meanwhile the two losers engage one another to play in the second round. The player who lost the second round has lost, and is out of the running for HoH. But the second round winner advances to play the first round winner and the third, and final, round.

So to make this clear (and by clear, I mean "easily understood") the third phase of the HoH contest takes place, in which the winner of round one competes against the winner of round two. Whoever wins this third round challenge is crowned the new (and final) HoH of the season.

This is extremely important. It is the final HoH who selects who he/she will be evicting, and therefore select who they want to take to the final two.

Well, America, the jacuzzi and and a banana daquiri are calling me. My contact with the outside world is very limited now, and highly monitored. So I need to get back to the sequester house now.

But remember, I'm still playing for you, and look forward to casting your vote during the finale of this historic season of Big Brother!


We hope all of you BB afficionados and newbies have enjoyed our gentle attempt at satire as a means to explain the end game. Again, I repeat, satire.